2022 started with my friend losing her sister and me working my first conference. It was tough but I wanted to be there for her. Plus, I stayed in the nicest hotel room I’ve ever stayed in even though we barely slept. Her job is hard. There are so many people to please, but I met some amazing people, and I don’t regret it. Shortly after the conference, I got a job. It was my first since 2020 and it’s working from home. I had to pay my bills, and entrepreneurial life is hella hard. I didn’t have another choice.

And then our Matriarch got sick. Not just ill, but deathly ill. This was new to us. She was 93 years old, and we never saw her hospitalized. And then she was gone. Just like that. She has always been a part of my life. She reminded me every time I saw her that she made my belly button with a penny. My Granny loved me and was the only safe adult I could openly be myself with. I could ask her any questions and not be reprimanded. She would take me with her to the store and let me and my brother buy quarter candy. Even though she was my Great Aunt, she treated me like I was valuable and mattered to her. And then she was gone.

Granny’s gone and I must ask permission to go to the funeral. I must provide a picture of the obituary to my supervisor for the bereavement leave. I hate this shit. My offspring appeared stoic, but I recently found her picture on his nightstand. You never know how another person is handling their grief. He was hurting too, and I didn’t see it. She was that important to us.

And sick days. And vacation that aren’t going on vacation days. Lots of false starts and failures because we’re low on capital and bills must be paid. But I’m painting in my free time. That’s something I’m learning I enjoy!

Sidenote: Thanks for your patience! We’re getting closer to the presemt but you have to have context in order to understand where I’m at. Stay tuned!