And now what? Comparison and why it was killing me.
Comparison is a joy killer and we all do it. We look at how everyone else around us at our age is doing and create a hierarchy of good and bad. Are they still renting? Is their career flourishing? Are they in a relationship? It’s our litmus test of success. We spend so much time…
Self-Discovery: Finding meaning without your purpose
One of the most jarring things I’ve experienced while empty nesting is self-discovery. Being my big age, the expectation is I should know by now. Know where I want to live, what I want to do, and have goals I’m working towards to get there. This knowing comes from having a clear understanding of what…
Loss: The devaluing of oneself. How rejection sensitive dysphoria ruined my life.
Being a woman in my mid 40’s comes with a lot of emotions. Emotions from empty nesting, hormones, relationships and the ever-present perimenopausal cycle cause me to question myself more than others. As a perceived “calm” person, I just assumed I was better than most because I can control my responses and adjust accordingly. My…
The Thrilla in Gasparilla
Every year, the city I live in has a colonization celebration. It’s full of pirates and swashbuckling fun. Lots of adults dressed in their favorite colorful bandanas and expensive boots ready to drink and pretend to be Captain Jack Sparrow for the weekend. I’ve watched it happen every year and never felt the need to…
Fireside Chat
It’s unusually cold outside right now in west central Florida and we’re outside of our element. In north Florida, it’s snowing which has shut down stretches of highway. This weather is proof the world is changing whether we choose to accept it or not. Kinda like life. It goes on regardless of what happens in…
Impossible Fantasy
Last month, I fulfilled a fantasy I never even considered was a possibility. I participated in a group sexual activity. Sounds crazy right? It was. It was actually quite insane. Once I got home and allowed myself to decompress, my sense of self shattered. Who am I? Since when were these types of activities “allowed”?…
Project 2025
I took a break over the holidays because I needed to. 2024 was amazingly life changing and I needed to process it. This time last year I felt abandoned and confused. My future felt tied to others decisions because I hadn’t yet prioritized myself. January 2024 was painful. This January feels full of promise. Promises…
I mean, if you like it…
The colloquialism goes, “If you like it, I love it.”, which typically means the opposite. An election normally has winners and losers. We’ve all lost. My heart was broken reading the results. This man y’all voted for is a real-life troll. Most of the time, we brush these election losses off as fodder but after…
Distractionville
I’ve spent most of my life afraid of everything. Literally everything. It’s a learned behavior. There weren’t too many risks being taken by my family in general. My parents worked, went to church and came home. I was taught adventures were in story books and movies. My bravery kicked in somewhere around five and it…
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